"1 and 2 and 3 and 4 and get them sit ups right and
Tuck your tummy tight and do your crunches like this."
- Kanye West, New Work Out Plan
I've
realized recently that I need to work out. In my old age (OK, not that
old), I fear that my diet of donuts and cookies for breakfast might be
catching up with me. Who knew it was so hard to stay slim after having a
baby?
I was going through my clothes, as I do every year when
the seasons change, trying to figure out what still fits, what doesn't
fit and would I would never be caught dead in again. I came across this
pair of pants that have always been HUGE on me and decided to try them
on for fun.
Bad idea.
They freaking fit me!!!!
W. T. F!
So,
of course I'm freaking out trying to calculate the last time I ate
(because obviously I was bloated or something) and proceeded to suck my
stomach in as far as it could go to at least make my pants a little loose. After I was resuscitated from passing out due to lack of oxygen to the brain, I realized it was time to shed the fat.
Now, in the past, I was a slave to Richard Simmons (don't you even
think about judging me) but I figured it was time to upgrade to
something new and improved--and then I found the holy grail of
dancercise DVDs--BILLY BLANKS, JR. PRESENTS CARDIOKE!!!!
You guy really need to try this. It's ten types of awesome!!
So, I'm in the living room dancing and singing and my dog is looking at me like I've lost it. Pretty sure that this work out was going to be easy peasy--until I died. Twice.
Seriously, Rhonda? You can't pop lock without passing out?
It was then I realized that "this Billy Blanks, Jr. guy is really TRYING TO KILL ME!!"
It's like he's dancing around touching pressure points and shutting whole bodies down (yeah, I like Kevin Hart).
Well, anyway, it' been about 3 weeks now and after initial shock of not feeling my body for the first couple of days, I've lost a couple ponds and a few inches off of my waist. I guess you can say it was worth it. Moral of the story: Change your life and get a Billy Blanks, Jr. DVD.
You might want to make sure you get right with Jesus first, a couple of people didn't make it through the first workout.
Now excuse me while I shimmy off the fat.
