CeReBrAL GuMbo.....

Since this guy (among every other thing in my hectic life) is the reason that I have been so sporadic in my blogging, I thought I'd dedicate this week's Cool Pix to him...

My all-kinds-of awesome son! 

"I've never been in love like this before
Now let me pray to keep you from
The perils that will surely come
See life for you my prince has just begun
And I thank you for choosing me
To come through unto life to be
A beautiful reflection of his grace
See I know that a gift so great
Is only one God could create
And I'm reminded every time I see your face"

You spend 9 whole months creating him, you've bonded before birth and after he's born, you spend close to 3 months of one-on-one time with the new man in your life. You learn all the quirks, have many a sleepless night and you realize that your heart no longer resides in your chest, but is a 14 pound ball of smiles and laughs with a face that looks half yours. And then--you have to go back to work.

Maternity leave is up, bills need to be paid and frankly, you are going stir crazy in the house. After months of calling and interviewing, you finally find someone who you trust to take care of your little guy while you're away all day and the moment you walk up to the door to drop him off for the first time you think, "what the heck am I doing?"

I recently had that revelation of sorts when I dropped my son off with the sitter for the first time. We walked in the door I gave my detailed instructions (because no one else in the world besides me is capable of looking after a baby) and as I make a big fuss waving goodbye, my son briefly glances my way and his attention is immediately diverted by the sitter waving a singing panda in his face.

I walked you to the sitter's door like I was going to the electric chair and reluctantly hand you over because it was almost unbearable to let you go for a whole day without me and all I got was a glance?

But that glance gave me comfort and made it a little easier to leave because I knew you would be fine and well entertained. It showed me you were comfortable which helped me breathe easy. 

But gosh kid, can't I a least get a goodbye laugh next time?

My simple errand to pick up my son's birth certificate from the court house turned into the wedding crashing event of the millennium.

Me: (Walks in building and to the front desk) Hi, where do I go to get a copy of my son's birth certificate?

Front Desk Lady: Room 148

Me: Thanks!

I walked to room 148 and there were two of them--148a and 148b...I walked into A.

Me: (Opens door to a wedding in progress) Oops! I'm so sorry! (As I shamefully hang my head and try to back out gracefully)

Random Wedding Guest: No, no, no, no! Come! Come in! Please!

Me: Oooookay

Random Wedding Guest: (Hands me a glass of sparkling cider as the wedding is in progress) Welcome!

So, I drank my sparkling cider and watched this wedding--which was beautiful by the way and once the wedding was over, I said my congrats and attempted to leave out.

Random Wedding Guest: No, no, no! Pictures! Please!

Me: No, I couldn't...

Random Wedding Guest: Yes! Come! (As he pulls me into the pic with the ENTIRE family...including the bride and groom)

I finally finagled my way out and got my son's birth certificate, but what a way to spend your lunch!

True Story.

"They call me Dope Man, Dope Man
I try to tell em I'm where hope, floats man
Ghetto spokes-man" - Jay-Z, Volume 3: The Life and times of S. Carter

A couple of days ago, VH1 had a special--I forget the name--dealing with Crack and Hip Hop. It was pretty darn interesting. They chronicled the rise and fall of the crack generation, how it inspired Hip Hop and how Hip Hop inspired it. What I got from it though, and from the artists that grew out of that era, was that a lot of young brothers didn't see that life as glamorous at all. I mean, yeah, they got money and cars and popularity from it, but for the most part that was the only way that poor, undereducated, disenfranchised black youth saw as an attainable way to provide for their families.

Now I could write an entire book about why this was the case, but the purpose of this post is to point out how weird it is that most of the Old Guard in Hip Hop used their music (fueled by the drug money) to GET OUT of that life but all you seem to hear now with rappers (who never even lived that life) is them glorifying it. It's so crazy how backwards people are!

Here's this man who is so poor and whose mind is so damaged from Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome, whose community and its leaders are being picked off one by one--and then you have a person wanting to rap about this man's life like he's sitting on top of the world? Are you dumb? Were you not paying attention when he got shot at his friends funeral? Or when his son was held hostage and killed by a rival? No? Well, maybe you were there when he went on "vacation" for 25 years and missed his daughter's ENTIRE life.

Why would you want to emulate that life? You say that this man was your inspiration but I think you were inspired by the wrong part of his journey. Maybe you should've been inspired by his best friend who decided to cut his losses and get a record deal rapping about the things people shouldn't do. It's really weird the turn that Hip Hop took in regards to the crack/cocaine lifestyle. It's like it went from a news report to a video game where the only avatars to choose from were dope boys, stick up boys or king pins--and nine times out of 10, these same rappers couldn't walk two blocks in Felix Mitchell's/Rayful Edmonds'/Azie's/Rick Ross' shoes--and they shouldn't want to either.

It's been a while my friends. Between being put on bed rest for a month, going through 51 hours of labor (an entire post in itself), more bed rest and burping,feeding, changing a 7lb (now 13lbs as I write)  man--life has been pretty hectic to say the least. But, alas, I have returned!

So, one of the first things I've done since getting back in the swing of things was go see Kevin Hart's, "Laugh at My Pain". I figure after everything I've been through in the past few months, I needed a good laugh and Kevin Hart is seriously funny--get i? No? You didn't laugh? Ok. That's cool.

Anyway, I was was watching the movie and near death from laughing, I started to think about the jokes he was telling and realize that this man's life is a hot mess right now. Between his divorce, his mom's passing and the family drug problems I didn't know whether to laugh at his jokes or give him a hug. So, I'm now sitting in the theater utterly confused as to how to react. Like, I'm literally laughing at his pain.

Every time he said something funny, I cracked up laughing, then immediately felt bad, like I needed to go confess or something--it was a mess for my emotional stability. But I'm good now, and I'm glad I went. Now I'm waiting for Katt Williams to get back at it--although with the way his life has been going lately, I feel like I'm setting myself up for failure again.

 

Peace.